“I left the room for 1 minute and I came back and my roommates dog ate my Chipotle.”

“Just a daddy long legs, but one hell of a shock when you feel something tickling your nethers after you sit down.”

“There was a piece of sand on my glasses cleaning cloth.”

“I let my boyfriend take my car to see his mom. My car keys have a glass-breaking rescue tool on them. This is my boyfriend’s mom’s table now.”

“My dog managed to throw up on the only unprotected spot of my cream-colored couch.”

“Bought a case for the switch lite I got for my sons birthday later this week. Had no idea the amazon driver yeeted it over the back fence, the dog opened it up and destroyed it, then I slipped and got my clothes caked in mud whilst retrieving it from the garden.”

“The diamond in my ring fell out today. It came with a 10 year workmanship guarantee. Yesterday was our 10th wedding anniversary.”

“Putting these shoes in the dryer was a bad idea.”

“Instead of baking Christmas cookies with my daughter and enjoying our regular “Ramen Night”, I’m in the ER after a bad fall at work. Got this cool neck brace though!”

“My 12 year old, allergic to nearly everything.”

“Really wanted to see Big Ben when I was in London.”

“Thanks Amazon – a thinly padded envelope is a great way to ship a glass jar of yeast!”

“Lost my wedding ring a month ago, bought a new one today; also, today…”

“The time I fulfilled a life long dream to visit the Taj Mahal.”

“Did a Psychedelic Jerry puzzle :( missing a piece, got an extra copy of another piece instead.”

“Got a nail in our tire 30 minutes into our 9 hour road trip.”

“My sister’s makeup bag after my dad accidentally sat on it.”

“I went for a walk at the beach. I have counted 96 mosquito bites in my body.”

“Candle was super fragrant last night… now I know why!”

“This why Hair Dye says to test it on a small spot before applying everywhere. Bad allergic reaction.”

“I found where my 3 year old twins have been hiding my loose change.”

"I finally made my first trick shot... but why?"

“Found my AirPods after an exhaustive search and buying a replacement. My 6-year-old son put it in his stocking and forgot about it.”

“Today my GF is 23.”

“Somebody put mud on my seat/saddle.”

“Looks like I’m not going to work today.”

“My mom checked a bag she was originally going to carry on and forgot what was in the outside pocket.”